Tuesday, August 07, 2007
my life is hitting low again. rapport with the people around me is getting bad. i don't really have any true friends around me except people from church. they are the real true friends i have. others are rather the same, maybe a handful are better.
taking today's training as an example. anonymous flared up when i told him to do dead lifts as a team. i mean, what is wrong with that, everyone's doing it. i don't mind if he doesn't agree, but i was shocked at the way he replied. i mean, talk nicely if you're not happy. i have to admit, my comments before he pushed me were harsh. things like, 'i have no say anymore, he's (anonymous) the leader'. i shouldn't have said that but it was out of a little anger. i'm no longer angry, and i also hope he isn't too. it's alright if he doesn't treat me as a friend, but we're still team mates.
i guess anonymous ain't the only one that doesn't like me in my IG. there are still many of them who doesn't like me, but i don't mind. i'm rather used to life like this. i've got all sorts of friends, true friends, 2-faced friends, hi-bye friends and lots more. but frankly, i just can't see anyone in the team as true friends, people that i can really share my problems with. well, i can be friendly to anyone who is the same to me. if people choose to just maintain the relationship with me as just team mates, be it.
people use to be friendly with me, until now. maybe it's just me, my attitude. i'm starting to change. i start to take casual insults seriously. i don't allow people to climb on my head anymore.
well, it can also be the other way. people take me for granted.
oh well, i'll try my best not to talk too much to people anymore for the time being. maybe things will change? i hope so.
tomorrow's going to be a lonely day.
10:04 pm
